Depression

Greetings.  I trust you are doing well.  I just got back from Washington DC and it's wonderful to be back in our office.

I often receive questions about depression on Xtreme Talk Live so I wanted to share this article with you today.  Please share this with those who are facing depression.

By Michael R. Lyles

(Psalm 130)

At times, everybody feels sad, down, and blue. Solomon wrote of “a time to weep” and “a time to mourn” (Eccl. 3:4). The writer of Hebrews assured believers they would have times of need in their lives (Heb. 4:16).

         Depression, however, is a deeper level of emotional turmoil and can affect many people in many ways. According to research, nearly one person in five will experience significant and persistent levels of depression. Significant and persistent depression causes people to miss more work than diabetes and heart disease, as well as being a major risk factor after heart attacks and strokes. Depression affects individuals, families, coworkers, and others who are in regular contact with the depressed person. Clearly, depression is a serious concern for many people.

Causes of Depression

Depression can be caused by a variety of factors, including stress, fear, loneliness, guilt, and anger. David wrote of his depression caused by unconfessed sin, leading to a groaning in his soul and a loss of strength (Ps. 38). God used depression as a signal to get Nehemiah’s attention to do His work (Neh. 1; 2). Job experienced financial, personal, and relational losses that led him to curse the day he was born (Job 1—3). Elijah was so depressed after a great victory that he wanted to die (1 Kin. 19:4). Many other Bible characters shared the lonely path of depression.        Although environmental issues such as work, stress, family, and other relationships can add to depression, actually a number of medical factors are involved, including thyroid abnormalities, female hormone fluctuations, and diabetes. Nutritional shortages leading to B-12 or iron deficiencies can cause sadness. Patients with a recent history of stroke or heart
attack are at high risk for depression. Common prescription drugs such as anti­hypertensives or oral contraceptives, and recreational drugs such as alcohol and cocaine, can cause significant levels of depression. Abnormalities in the brain’s management of hormones such as serotonin and norepinephrine can also bring on overwhelming feelings of doom and gloom. Understanding the physical components that can cause depression can help to put this disorder in context and give an idea of how widespread it is.

Symptoms of Depression

Psalm 102 provides a virtual checklist of symptoms that King David experienced during a particularly stressful period in his life. “Let my cry come to You. Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my trouble” (102:1, 2). He wrote of feeling stricken physically and described losing meaning and purpose in his life: “My days are consumed like smoke, and my bones are burned like a hearth. My heart is stricken and withered like grass” (102:3, 4). He lost his appetite: “I forget to eat my bread” (102:4). He felt isolated and rejected: “I am like a pelican of the wilderness; I am like an owl of the desert” (102:6). He couldn’t sleep: “I lie awake” (102:7). He had frequent crying spells: “I have eaten ashes like bread, and mingled my drink with weeping” (102:9).        Serious depression can present itself in a number of ways. When the above symptoms are experienced in a dramatic, disabling fashion for weeks or months at a time, it is called “major depression.” When these symptoms are low-grade and chronic, it is called “dysthymic disorder.” Depression can also alternate in a pattern of mood swings—with a person feeling irritable and then euphoric, having insomnia, or being agitated. This is called “bipolar disorder” or “manic depressive illness.”

Responding to Depression

Elijah demonstrated both healthy and unhealthy responses to depression (1 Kin. 19). After the great victory on Mount Carmel, his life was threatened and he became afraid. He focused on the situation instead of on God. During a sequence of events, he sank deeper and deeper into a depressed state. His fear became so intense that he eventually ran away, isolated himself, and prayed that he would die (1 Kin. 19:4).         A summary of his behavior can be described as the HALT syndrome—a very vulnerable place for a person to be. At his most depressed state he was:Hungry—He stopped eating.Angry—He was mad at God for not caring about him.Lonely—He left his servant and traveled alone.Tired—He collapsed into sleep.Any time a person experiences an intense combination of these characteristics, he or she is becoming vulnerable to developing some form of depression.

Recovering Hope

God counteracted the HALT syndrome in Elijah’s life at every level. He responded by providing food for Elijah. An angel touched Elijah, reminding him that he was not alone. Two times God encouraged Elijah to regain his strength by eating, drinking, and resting. God brought him out of the HALT syndrome, which enabled Elijah to listen and obey (1 Kin. 19:5–18).         The story of Elijah reminds us of the importance of having a real and personal relationship with God. When we are depressed, we may often feel like running away from our problems like Elijah. We must avoid isolating ourselves, as tempting as that might be. We may need to be accountable to a friend, pastor, family member, or Christian therapist who can help us through the difficult times. Depressed people must be careful to stay clear of addictive behaviors, unhealthy relationships, or socially avoidant behaviors, for these will only deepen a depressed state.         Though he felt hopeless, Elijah accepted God’s help. He recognized God’s voice and was strengthened and encouraged. He was then able to return to his life with a new ability to cope and a new hope for the future.

Further Meditation:

Other passages to study about the issue of depression include: ã   Psalms 27; 34; 40:1–3; 42; 43; 88; 143; 147:3ã   Isaiah 41:10; 43:2ã   Romans 8:18–39ã   2 Corinthians 1:8–11  To learn more see: The Soul Care Bible: Experiencing and Sharing Hope God’s Way

This article is Copyright © 2001 by the American Association of Christian Counselors

Forgiveness

I often receive questions during my weekly talk show Xtreme Talk Live about how to forgive someone.  We have this artical posted on our web site at freeourfamily.com under the Help Topics but I wanted to take a minute and share it with everyone.  Everett Worthington Jr has some great insights that might really help you through the forgiveness process.  I hope this artical is a blessing to you.

God bless,

 

Bill Scott

INFORMATION ABOUT FORGIVENESS

Everett L. Worthington, Jr.

(2 Corinthians 2:5–11)

The concept of forgiveness is as slippery as a greased watermelon in a swimming pool. The harder you squeeze it, the more slippery it becomes. People use the term “forgiveness” loosely and mean different things.

First, what is unforgiveness? Unfor­giveness is a set of delayed emotions that consists of resentment, bitterness, hatred, hostility, anger, and fear. These emotions arise in a person because of a transgression that has wounded them psychologically or physically. Unforgiveness consumes the heart like a cancer. The wounded person responds with hot emotions of anger, and fear of being wounded again. The emotions of anger and fear are not unforgiveness. But when these emotions are continually replayed mentally, the resulting delayed emotions are unforgiveness.

So what is forgiveness? People think of forgiveness as what we do to get rid of unforgiveness. But forgiveness is more than relinquishing judgment to God or simply accepting the hurt and letting it pass. True forgiveness occurs when those cold emotions of unforgiveness are changed to warm, loving, compassionate, caring, altruistic emotions resulting from a heartfelt transformation. Forgiveness is both an act and a process. It could be compared to canceling a debt. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. It takes two to reconcile; it takes only one to forgive.

God’s forgiveness of humans and our forgiveness of one another are different, although related. Both involve an altruistic, emotional response by the forgiver toward another who needs forgiveness. But there’s a difference in the one doing the forgiving. Whereas God has an infinite perspective on us, we do not have that same perspective on others. God knows our hearts and motives, so He can legitimately demand our repentance prior to forgiving. Humans, however, cannot demand repentance before granting forgiveness.

The Example in Matthew 18

Matthew 18 gives clear teaching about forgiveness. Jesus described divine forgiveness and love in the parable of the lost sheep. He encouraged reconciliation and said that forgiveness should be unlimited. He then told the parable of the unforgiving servant, tying together God’s forgiveness of us with our forgiveness of others (Matt. 18:21–35).

Forgiveness is often thought of as a Christian duty. Forgiveness can rarely be achieved when practiced as a duty, however. The positive, loving emotions of forgiveness that replace the delayed emotions of unforgiveness rarely flow from willful duty. Instead, they flow from a heart that is transformed by having experienced God’s love and forgiveness (Eph. 4:31, 32).

How to Forgive

There are many ways to forgive a person who has harmed us, any one of which can be effective. In soul care, we should attempt to help people experience empathy for the person who harmed them, humility about their own sinfulness, and gratitude over having themselves been forgiven by God and by others.

Helping people experience forgiving emotions is not easy and requires time. I use a five-step acrostic to help people experience forgiveness, which I call the Pyramid Model to REACH forgiveness:

R = Recall the hurt. To heal, you must not deny that you have been hurt or offended. However, you should not recall the hurt in whiny victimization or as finger-pointing blame. Instead, you should recall the hurt calmly and try to remember objectively what happened.

E = Empathize with the person who hurt you. Empathy means attempting to understand what the transgressor might have been going through. It helps to attempt to feel with the person who caused the hurt.

A = Give an Altruistic gift of forgiveness. Try to recall a time when you harmed someone who later forgave you. Remember specifically what happened and how you received the offer of forgiveness. Then you can more easily envision yourself giving that gift back to another.

C = Commit publicly to forgive. You can truly forgive in your heart, but you might doubt that forgiveness if you recall the incident and re-experience some of the hot emotions. By speaking aloud or writing down your forgiveness, by telling a trusted friend, or, in some cases, by writing a follow-up letter to the person who harmed you, you can solidify the act of forgiveness.

H = Hold on to forgiveness. When you doubt whether the forgiveness was real, you can hold onto the forgiveness by remembering that there is a difference between remembering the event and experiencing the cold emotions.

For help in experiencing and granting forgiveness, we might need to talk with the person who hurt us about the transgression and forgiveness. We must make a reproach, or request for an explanation. A reproach must not be made harshly, however, but gently.

The transgressor responds with an account. Accounts can be denials, excuses, or confessions. A confession should be followed by a sincere apology, statement of an intent not to transgress in the same way again, an offer of restitution, and a request for forgiveness.

We must decide whether we can experience the emotions that lead to the changed heart of forgiveness. Forgiving cannot be summoned at will; therefore, often when we are asked to forgive, it will take time to experience the new emotions.

Talking about forgiveness is often a major step on the way to reconciliation between two parties who have had a trust broken. Parties must decide whether they can reconcile and if so, how to work this process. For reconciliation to be complete, however, both parties need to reverse the damage that was done in the relationship, decide to give each other mercy at an occasional failure, and take active steps to build love in their relationship by valuing each other.

Further Meditation:

Other passages to study about the issue of forgiveness include:

Jeremiah 31:34; 33:8, Micah 7:18, 19, Matthew 6:12, Mark 11:25, 26 Luke 6:37; 17:3; 23:34, John 8:1–11 Romans 12:19,  1 John 1:9.  To learn more see: The Soul Care Bible: Experiencing and Sharing Hope God’s Way

This article is Copyright © 2001 by the American Association of Christian Counselors